"ADJUSTING TO MARRIED LIFE"
This couple has only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, can't wait to go out into town and party with his old buddies.
He says to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."
"Where are you going coochy coo...?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a
The wife says to him, "You want a beer, my love?" Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is, "Yes, loolie loolie... but the bar... you know... the frozen glass..."
He doesn't get to finish the sentence, when thewife interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She takes a huge beer mug out of the freezer so frozen that she is getting the chills holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, says, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at
the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: buffalo wings, nachos mushroom caps, chicken strips, etc.
"But sweet honey... at the bar... you know... the swearing, the
dirty words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, cutie pie?...
DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING DAMN SNACKS BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!! GOT IT ASSHOLE?!!"