Children jokes

Teacher: Who helped you to draw this map, Jack?
Jack: Nobody, sir.
Teacher: Didn't your brother help you?
Jack: No, sir. He drew it all himself.

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Professor: Can you tell me anything about the great chemists of the 17th century?
Student: Yes, they are all dead, sir.

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"Father," said Jack, running into the garden, "there's a big black cat in the dining room."
"Never mind, Jack" said his father, "black cats are lucky."
"This one is; he's had your dinner."

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"Little boy," said a man, "Why do you carry that umbrella over your head? Is it not raining and the sun isn't shining."
"I carry it now," answered the boy, "because when it rains Pa wants it, and only when the weather is good I can use it."





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"Ma," said a little girl, "Willie wants the biggest piece of cake, and I think I must have it, because he was eating cakes two years before I was born."

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Mother: Jane, what is Mary doing?
Jane: Well, she is skating if the ice is a thick as she thinks, but if the ice is as thin as I think, she is swimming.